From Bridal to Battle fatigue

Recently a retired neighbor of mine asked if he could bring over a pair of pants to see if I could repair them. He said they had a few holes and he just wanted them patched and didn’t want to spend a lot of money or have them done fancy.

Once he arrived I was shocked and amused. The pants were hunting camouflage type and had been repaired earlier by the same gentleman. Where huge chunks had been missing he had sewn the edge together with thick black thread possibly the type to sew horse saddles. I asked him how he was able to tear up these pants so well and he says, “Going over fences”. Ok, no problem, he used what was available but then on closer inspection every repair area was very stiff and shiny.

When I asked him what was the coating on all the threads he said, “Oh that’s just super glue, I sealed the all the edges to make them waterproof”. Then he goes on to explain that Marines say if you can’t fix something with super glue or duct tape, it ain’t work fixing. The pants are left with me and using lots of fabric from the extra long rolled under hems I cut away all the damaged areas with super glue and patch the gaps. At this point it ceases to be a sewing project and enters the realm of crafty.

A couple weeks later another neighbor who knows this man well tell me that every night an elderly gentleman used to take his dog for a walk and let the creature poop on the ex-Marine’s front lawn and not clean up after it. This had been going on for a while and the next step was to install surveillance cameras to record the dirty deed. Of course the next step was to also dress from head to toe in camogear with night vision goggles and wait in the bushes for the offender and his dog. Sure enough the  old guy walks past his lawn and while the dog is relieving himself my neighbor jumps out and confronts the dog owner in a surprise attack. Utterly stunned and probably close to pooping himself the owner admits he was wrong and will not do it again.

My other neighbor tells him he cannot keep doing this as one of these days he is going to cause a heart attack…either for the dog owner or himself!

Next time I share what the future holds…another man with a strange request!

I leave you with a warning, if you walk your dog without bringing a poo bag along…beware, you never know who is lurking in the bushes waiting to pounce!!!

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One Response to From Bridal to Battle fatigue

  1. Pingback: Always Laughing | fit for a queen

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