Bridal Party Male

Like most mornings after sewing until 11 pm the night before and then getting up at 3 am to sew for another 2 hours before catching a nap from 5am to 8 am my vision is not always clear when I wander into my husband’s study to find him working on a writing job for a client in the UK or Australia or Canada or the US. But this morning he is in his shorts (from Costco) and telling me he has measured his waist and he is shocked at the numbers.

The only reason this would ever happen is a wedding and being measured for the Father-of-the-Bride outfit. His third and last daughter is getting married in Dubrovnik, the popular destination wedding venue for many UK brides. The whole family in the UK minus me in the US is flying to Croatia the end of July and his outfit will have to be rented in the UK to match the rest of the party so hence the measuring up has to be done now.

Most men who buy their pants/shorts off a neat stack at Costco seem happy when the label inside the waistband say 36. This brings a smile to their face and they think that their healthy regime of eating key lime pie or ice cream and bananas 3 nights a week will keep their James Bond figures.

As he was on a roll after measuring his own waist he said I should do the other measurements right then and there. OK I say, “Let me find my glasses” and I do the chest measurement and the inseam. He was satisfied that they have not changed as much as the middle measurement. Then I said, “let’s measure those shorts that say 36”. He drops his shorts and the tape measure is spread out to almost 40.

Funny thing about men, even when they know this is the deception, they go along with it. The attitude is “Cool, you see Calvin Klein has got it right” putting men at ease with “36” on the label instead of “almost 40”.

Let’s say that the “vanity or fantasy sizing” that is widespread in the women’s clothing industry works just the same for men. We all like to be fooled. If you pay a little more you get whatever number you want in your pants. Our expectations have been met without dieting or spending time on the treadmill.

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