Just as the temps rise and the summer season starts women’s thoughts turn to just one thing….kicking back by the pool, sipping margaritas, cutting up ice cold watermelons….ah…no,not really. They all head to the nearest boutique to purchase some linen pants.
I have been noticing something recently altering summer pants…the designers have been doing something weird…again. For some unknown reason they have been fanning out the center back seam from the waistband to the crotch like it was a skirt. The result is 2 HUGE cheeks billowing behind like hippo cheeks. The greatest offender is the popular brand FLAX.
These poor women pay a high price for this basic linen outfit which is called “comfortable”. All I see when looking at this sad outfit is “pyjamas”. Here is the most recent victim of this cruel hoax:
You can follow my line of pins which incredibly actually follows the vertical grain line. Notice what the center back seam is doing…making an ass of itself by wandering off by 2 inches. WHO has butt cheeks that big??? Where does all that fabric go? Nowhere…it sticks out the back and could actually get caught in a swinging door at Starbucks causing you to spill your iced latte thing in-a-cup.
I’m taking in the side seams too, all the way past the pocket…heck it could stand to be narrowed/eliminated altogether as well. What would you actually store in those kangaroo pockets??? A carton of a dozen eggs? Beach towels???
Seriously, take a look at the lady in brown on the Flax website…she could be a homeless person, lost her job, lost her friends and especially lost her waistline…where is it?
When I checked the inside label it said these pants were made in Lithuania and I am wondering if the women in those factories think that they are making clothes for some American gulag…something Lindsay Lohan would be wearing during her brief prison stays. Shapeless outfits based on a square in dull colors and durable fabrics accessorized with ankle chains and locks would complete “the look”.
If your goal this summer is to wear shapeless comfortable clothes…hey go for it but take a good hard look behind you and make sure you aren’t toting some big cheeks.