Over the years, you think you have heard all the stupid, disrespectful phrases from clients but they keep coming. I asked some of my professional sewing buddies if they had some favorites to share.
I am on a diet. I’ve lost 6lb this week! (When collecting what you thought was a finished garment).
But it only cost ….. (in response to the quote. My usual response is that it is the same work whether Primark or Prada)
I want to wear it on ……. . That gives you enough time, right? (Only if I give this job priority over everything and make everyone else wait. And do without food and sleep).
I used to sew my own stuff.
I made a start myself but ran into problems.
Is this your ‘actual’ job?
I don’t get paid until next Wednesday can I still pick up my gown in Monday and write you a postdated check.
I found this cute dress for $10, it’s too small, but I know you can do something to make it fit!
My wedding gown budget is only $300 from a client who is 7-months pregnant and shows you a picture of Heidi Klum in a designer maternity gown.
Oh yes, people showing up with children and McDonald’s bags to sit and eat in your living room. No no lady, they will have to sit in your car!!!!
From East Coast Sharon:
Can I have this done by tomorrow? It’ll only take a minute !
If you charge me $15 to hem my pants, will you give me a deal if I bring you ten?
I forgot your Christmas gift, I left it on the back porch. (I’ve been told that by the same woman for 5 years in a row ……she needs to clean-up her back porch!)
I know you have 3 dozen prom gowns to do by next week, but I’ll pay you extra if you do MY daughter’s first.
You are going to charge me how much? Oh no, I can’t afford that, I’m on a fixed income, can’t you give me a cut in the price? Then the customer gets into her BMW and drives away .
After listening to a customer beg & plead to have an alteration done by the next day, and I finally give into their whining, they don’t show up for 2 weeks to pick-up and pay for their clothing.
When a customer brings in multiple garments to be altered ( arms full/shit load ), then when they come back to pick-up and pay, they select only 1 or 2 items, promising they will return soon to get the rest.
Customers that flip out because I choose to be closed due to : hurricanes, blizzards, or national holidays
And my personal favorite : Do you like to sew?
I’m so glad I found you. I can have you make me some Chanel jackets that won’t cost so much. ;(
I didn’t take her on as a client.
” It’s should be real simple to do (alterations).” In other words, ” It shouldn’t cost me too much.”
(After bringing 7-10 pair of pants to even up and hem after you butchered them)–“Ooo, I didn’t know it was gonna cost that much!” ” Can you do it for (x amount of dollars)?
Me: I need the full balance up front.
Client: “My policy is to pay you half of the balance.”
“Why do you charge so much, you don’t have overhead”?
Bride: I found this dress at David’s Bridal and it’s $500. Can you make it for less?
Me: You should run there and buy it immediately. No way am I going to going to compete with that quality fabric and labor!
Bride: Here is a photo of my dress. It needs to be let out, hemmed and bustled. Please give me an estimate based on the photo so I don’t have a make a trip to your studio.
Me: No way can I possibly guess at the work involved. Please visit your local seamstress.
Client: I bought fabric at JoAnn’s ( polyester) and a pattern but am overwhelmed. Can you make my dress? I figure it will cost about $100.
Me: Sorry but I’m totally booked. ( I would make about $2.00 per hour).
I could have done this alteration myself but I decided to LET you do it.
I was going to bring you a bottle of wine, but I forgot.
I left the house without my checkbook and I have no money with me. (There is an ATM machine just down the road)
When the dress is done I am bringing Champagne to share with you, (this never happened)
I have had this wedding dress for 3 months. (after squeezing her in 10 days before the wedding date)
I have 5 bridesmaids dresses to be altered, we bought all the same size, all larger than the girls needed and figured you could make them fit each different body.
I’m waiting until ALL the bridesmaid dresses are here before I bring them…it may be the day before the wedding.
I don’t know anything about sewing but I do scrap booking.
I can’t pay $16 to hem the pants, I only paid $10 for them. (Please go back and buy more)
I have a laundry basket of Walmart tube socks to be mended. (Please go back and buy more)
If the prom dress ordered from China is delivered the night before the prom can I drop it off?
Do you have a play area for my children? (Try McDonald’s)
Will you come the day of my wedding and get me dressed?
If I lose another pound can you take my dress in the morning of the wedding?
Can you make the bustle work for both 5 inch stilettos and flats?
So dear readers…these are just a sampling of comments from clients that we hear daily and it helps to know that other seamstresses have the same clients no matter where they live.
Before I go, I will include a photo of the day from the veggie patch but please make sure the children have left the room…it is rude, it is real and I found this under a leaf…I really did!
Crookneck squash! What a handful!